Posted by: lydiateh | 27 November 27, 2008

File it in the bin

I read this article in The Star on 25 November 2008. It paints a pretty grim picture of publishing in the West. We have it easy in Malaysia. We can send in unsolicited manuscripts straight to publishers and it’s relatively easy to be published. I found this article online at guardian.co.uk.

Most publishers no longer read unsolicited manuscripts - but that doesn’t stop writers sending them in. Aida Edemariam, who has rejected more submissions than she cares to remember, investigates

I will not be the only person who reacted with amusement to the news that HarperCollins has just launched a website that encourages would-be authors to upload sample chapters, which will then be judged not by professional editors, but by readers. Amusement at the company’s chutzpah, specifically - but amusement tempered with some sympathy, too.

In the mid-90s I did a five-month internship in New York at a magazine that published both long-form reportage and fiction. Mostly this meant that very American pastime of rigorous fact-checking (I will never forget calling up the bemused manager of the KFC in Giza and asking him to measure out the exact distance, in yards, between his establishment and the Sphinx’s nose) - but it also meant responsibility for reading the manuscripts sent in by hopeful writers, aka the slush pile. There were four of us unpaid minions, and whenever the pile got so high it wouldn’t stay up of its own accord we’d retire to the boardroom, divide the orange envelopes between us, and set to work.

It is a dispiriting business. Like everyone who has ever done this, we began in great hope. We would discover the next Tom Wolfe, the next John Cheever … but reality quickly set in. The vast majority of it is just bad. You start doubting your own judgment (particularly when the stuff that you do pass on to senior editors gets ignored, or immediately rejected), get distracted by prisoners who think it a good idea to include a picture of themselves with a gun pointed at the viewer (true story), and quite quickly find yourself reading the first two paragraphs, putting a pencil mark or something on page six (so the outraged author doesn’t post it back with a note pointing out that they can tell you haven’t read it), and slipping it into an SAE. Not without a mounting sense of guilt. 

Read More…

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Posted in Writing

Posted by: lydiateh | 21 November 21, 2008

Winner announcement - cover design contest

The moment you have been waiting for is here : drum roll please… The winner of the Eh Poh Nim book cover design contest is :

Michelle Ng from Klang!

Michelle will get acknowledgment in the book, Do You Wear Suspenders? - The Wordy Tales of Eh Poh Nim as well as RM100 book vouchers and an autographed copy of the book.

The reason for the delay was that my publisher wasn’t sure of going with the title Do You Wear Suspenders? I was on the edge of my seat for weeks when the decision was still pending. I really think this is a good title. None of the alternatives I suggested could hold up a candle to it.

I did say that there will be a random draw for three consolation prize winners. As the organizer, I’m going to exercise my right to alter this part of the contest. Don’t worry, there will still be three EPN books going out to participants. The only difference is that it won’t be a lucky draw. As the response was not that great, and three contestants (other than Michelle) really stood out with their entries, I’ve decided to award the consolation prizes to these three :

1. Kok : He was so enthusiastic he sent in plenty of ideas and helped me plug the contest at his blog.

2. Camlok : I like his idea about Eh Poh Nim remaining faceless. In fact I did use the bit about the underwear showing.

3. Sunnymloh : His suggestion is very Malaysian, but is not suitable for this book.

This is the winning idea from Michelle :

Use cartoon caricatures, with an old ang moh man wearing suspenders (the straps that hangs on to his trousers) and a young Malaysian man with suspenders (boxers). It would be cute if both had mickey mouse designs! Haha! One on each side, but have them both looking confused.

Have Eh Poh Nim caricature stand in between them in the center with a big grin/smirk on her face. The title of the book could be in her bubble thought on the top of the page. And on her t-shirt, or dress, or however you’re gonna dress her up, print VS on it.

However, I’m not taking this design wholesale. I’ve made some changes to it. When the design comes back from the illustrator, I’ll post it here.

Winners, please email your address to me at tehlydia@yahoo.com. Congratulations! And a big thank you to everyone who participated.

7 Comments

Posted in Comping, Writing

Posted by: lydiateh | 20 November 20, 2008

Vagaries of Vanity

Yvonne Lee has come up with her second book, Vanity Drive. It’s a short book - 181 pages which you can breeze through quickly in between bouts of chortle. If I were to provide an alternative title, it would be The Confessions of a Vain Woman. Yvonne doesn’t make apologies for being vain though. She writes, “No doubt, I’m a vain woman. I love preening over my face, hair and body.” She’s one brave woman.

After reading through the chapter I Shop, Therefore I Am, I began to see a similarity between Yvonne and Sophie Kinsella’s protagonist, Becky Bloomwood. Whilst Becky is the Shopaholic Extraordinaire, Yvonne is the Shopaholic on Rehab.

If your vanity quotient is high, you’ll find kinship with Yvonne. But even if you’re only a little vain, you’ll be able to identify with the issues she grapples with. Men who want to have a better understanding of what women go through to look beautiful will find enlightenment in Vanity Drive.

Yvonne Lee will be making an appearance in MPH Mid Valley this Sunday 23 November at 4.00-5.00 pm. If you want to catch her, make sure you be there. This is the only book signing event she has lined up.

poster-vanity-drive

3 Comments

Posted in Reading

Posted by: lydiateh | 19 November 19, 2008

You are invited…

Come for these interesting lessons to learn about the gospel of Judas, the lost tomb of Jesus and more.  I’ll be there.  Jumpa di sana!

archaelogycoc1

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Posted in Everything else

Posted by: lydiateh | 07 November 7, 2008

Testing DVD #1 - Looks

samsung-dvdA few weeks ago I got an email from Sue Tan of Samsung Malaysia. I met her at the Blogmob prize-giving where I won the Samsung i550 phone. She asked me if I would like to participate in their Product Test Drive program for the Samsung HDMI DVD Player, DVD-F1080. I shot back an email asking how long do I get to keep the player. “Forever,” she replied. Wahaha! I want! I want!

When I picked up the player, I asked Sue, “Can play pirated dvds or not?” “Can!” she said. Though I try not to buy pirated stuff, ahem, sometimes I borrow them from friends and relatives. I’ve heard of friends’ dvd players which were so high class they only play originals. I don’t want that type of classiness, thank you very much.

My first impression of the player was good. It was shiny black and sleek. And mighty small too - very portable. When I took it home, I weighed it without all the cables and what-not. Only 0.95 kg! The gross weight of the unit is 1.9 kg, about the same as a laptop. Size wise, it’s almost similar to our phone directory (the paper variety from Telekom). Not long after I picked up the player, I went to Genting Highlands for a Sunday School teachers’ planning session. I contemplated bringing along the player as I wanted to test it. But as our schedule was very tight, I finally decided against it. Besides I didn’t want to risk losing it as I have an obligation to blog about the player. I still haven’t got the chance to test it yet.

So far, all I’ve done is admire the beautiful and elegant player. I can hardly believe it’s mine. Thanks to Samsung Malaysia for letting me take part in the test drive program. More on the player later.

4 Comments

Posted in Blogging, Comping

Posted by: lydiateh | 04 November 4, 2008

Toward or towards?

Encarta has the answer.  That’s why I’ve bookmarked this dictionary.  Not only is its pronunciation guide a gem but its notes on word usage is also priceless.

In U.S. English, toward is the usual form but in British English towards is more common. The same principle applies to afterward/afterwards and to some other adverbs of direction that end in -ward, for example, backward/backwards and outward/outwards. Upward, as in moved upward, and upwards, as in increases upwards of 10 percent, are also standard.

Note that related adjectives of direction always end in -ward, not -wards, as in a backward glance or an upward trend. The adverb forwards is a seldom used variant of forward in U.S. English, and the -wards spelling of it is never used as a standard U.S. English adjective.

2 Comments

Posted in Writing

Posted by: lydiateh | 31 October 31, 2008

Weather forecasters

For those of you who entered the cover design contest, I’m sorry I can’t announce the winner yet as my publisher has not made a decision. So, please be patient a little longer, okay?

The weather has been terribly hot these past few days after the wet spell. Just two days ago, I saw some flies with huge wings (what the Hokkiens call tua chui bang) hovering around the fluorescent light. I told my kids that old folks believe these flies signal a change in weather. As it had been hot when the flies appeared, that would mean that the next day would bring rain, right? Wrong. The next day the heat was just as sweltering.

No. 4 said, “Mummy, it didn’t rain but the flies came.”

Perhaps I should ask my friend with the weather nose to come stay with us. Each time her nose starts to get runny, she’ll predict that it will rain the next day. Apparently her weather nose is quite accurate. Our Meteorological department should employ her.

In Kenya they look at how the spiders spin the web and how high the magungu birds fly as indicators of when the weather will change.

When the magungu bird flies higher in the sky than usual and seems to float in the air in its passage from south to north, the Abasuba people living on the islands of Kenya’s Lake Victoria and on the highlands near the lake know the rains are on their way and that it is time to plant.

To scientists, this flight pattern could be associated with the movement of the inter-tropical convergence zone. The Lake Victoria basin falls in an area of deep convection, which might explain the high flight.

To bring together these two paradigms — the traditional indicators and the modern scientific forecasts — a project has been set up to record and monitor the traditional indicators of weather in Kenya and to find their scientific interpretations.

…. The workshops brought to light the traditional indicators that have been handed down through generations: from the patterns of stars, shadows, the direction of the wind and clouds to the flowering of trees and the behaviour of birds, insects and bees. Spiders are often the first to signal a change in the weather. They weave their webs against the wind in anticipation of the insects that will come their way.

Source : http://ipsnews.net/africa/nota.asp?idnews=44202

Flies, spiders, birds, nose …. what other indicators of weather change have you come across? I wish my friend’s weather nose would twitch… we need rain!

8 Comments

Posted in Culture, Everything else

Posted by: lydiateh | 21 October 21, 2008

Dirty Tee

No. 3 came back from school with a very muddy t-shirt. And it was a brand new one at that, bought specially for the school sports. His blue team lost the tug-of-war. It’s not fair, he said. The team which chose Heads in the coin toss got to choose where the team would stand and of course, they opted for dry ground. The other team, Blue, had to stand on soggy ground (it had been raining almost every evening of late). Excuses, excuses! Losers always have something to complain about, don’t they.

The dirty tee reminds me of a detergent advertisement that had boys playing football in a muddy field. When they return home dripping with mud, good old mum is unfazed. Not to worry! I have xyz detergent to help me get rid of the dirt. Sprinkle in the magic powder, Abacadabra, give it a wash and a rinse, and the clothes emerge spotlessly clean and white. What a comedic ad! It’s funny as I know it’s make believe, like Santa Claus.

I have yet to come across a detergent that works wonders like how the ads portray them. Whatever the brand, some good old scrubbing is needed. As for no. 3’s muddy t-shirt, after an overnight soak, it was still very dirty. Only 10% of the dirt had been removed. This morning I added more soap powder and scrubbed it till I worked up a good sweat. Fifty percent of mud went down the drain. The rest clung stubbornly to the garment. I decided to give the shirt another soak and tackle it a few hours later.

Never believe those detergent ads!

11 Comments

Posted in Family

Posted by: lydiateh | 23 September 23, 2008

Contest : Do You Wear Suspenders?

NOTE : Closing date is extended for two weeks till 17 October!

The compilation of Eh Poh Nim articles is coming along nicely. It’s still in the edit stage and I’m now looking into the cover design. This time I’ve got the title already, thanks to Janet Tay over at MPH who unwittingly provided me with the title last year. The full title is DO YOU WEAR SUSPENDERS? - THE WORDY TALES OF EH POH NIM. Do You Wear Suspenders is based on the chapter about Manglish. To give you some context, here’s an excerpt:

“What cute suspenders he’s wearing. I love Mickey Mouse,” Gail whispered. (Referring to a guy who was wearing Mickey Mouse suspenders).

David stared at Gail. “How do you know what suspenders he’s wearing? You’ve got x-ray eyes ah?”

“What’s he talking about?” Gail looked confused.

Eh Poh Nim grinned.

“What’s so funny?” David asked.

“Gail, David thought you were referring to the hunk’s briefs, not the straps that keep his trousers up,” Eh Poh Nim said.

In this article, Gail is an Aussie girl and David is Malaysian.

The challenge

Please suggest the concept for a cover design based on the title. If you’re not familiar with Eh Poh Nim, you can read some of the wordy tales at The Star’s archives. You don’t have to draw the cover, a description in this comment box would suffice. But if you are the artistic type and would like to express your idea in drawing, you may email it to me.

Prize

1st prize : The winning concept will win RM100 book vouchers, an autographed copy of Do You Wear Suspenders and acknowledgment in the book.

Consolation : Three other participants will be selected by random draw to receive an an autographed copy of Do You Wear Suspenders.

Closing date (EXTENDED!)

Friday, 17 October 2008

Terms

1. Anybody can enter this contest. If the winner is based overseas, he/she must provide a Malaysian address for the prize to be mailed to.

2. Multiple entries are allowed. Please submit them in this comment box unless the submission is in the form of illustration which should be emailed to tehlydia@yahoo.com.

3. If similar concepts by different participants are submitted and such a one is chosen as the winning entry, the winner would be the one who first suggested it.

If you have a blog, please help me to spread the word. Thanks!

34 Comments

Posted in Writing

Posted by: lydiateh | 11 September 11, 2008

Of monkeys and mung beans

Sorry I haven’t been updating this blog for so long. Caught up with some family matters and then there’s the Eh Poh Nim manuscript to edit. It’s scheduled to be released next year.

Read about Saint Berba in today’s Star.

Dimitar Berbatov says he won’t give Sir Alex Ferguson any disciplinary problems, because he never swears and carries his Bible everywhere.

Says he'll be good for Ferguson

Berbatov: Says he’ll be good for Ferguson

Berbatov moved to Manchester United from Spurs for £30.75million on transfer deadline day after a protracted transfer saga. The whole story raised question marks about the 27-year-old Bulgarian’s temperament.

But Berbatov himself says despite sometimes going off the rails when he was younger, he is now a changed man.

He told The Sun: “I’ve done many stupid things because of my stubbornness, only because I didn’t want to listen to my parents’ advice.

“And then it always turned out that they were right.”

The talented striker added: “Besides, I am religious and I take The Bible everywhere with me. There are many good pieces of advice for those like me in The Bible.”

Berbatov also says that bad language is not something he indulges in either.

“This is a matter of good upbringing. I don’t swear in my daily life,” he added.

“I try to do everything with style - not only in football. And if I manage to give any positive examples then that is great.”

(This wasn’t on Star’s online portal, so I nicked it from teamtalk.com.

This is uplifting news in a world that’s being polluted more and more by swear words. I don’t swear either and feel uncomfortable when people do so, especially when they swear using Jesus Christ’s name.

Not swearing presents a minor problem. What do you say when you get riled? ‘Expert’ drivers like me often get irritated by incompetent drivers. I know this is a problem which I have to work on. Patience, patience. My son is beginning to drive like me, spouting Stupid! behind the wheel intermittently. Stupid should be banned from my vocabulary unless it is meant in the actual sense of the word, like why are you so stupid that you don’t know red means stop.

Similarly ‘monkey’ should be banished from my lips unless it refers to those creatures swinging along electric cables somwhere near my place. Two days ago I was just telling no. 2 that instead of saying ‘monkey’ I should say ‘mung bean’. Why? Usually the word slips out involuntarily, like when a driver turns without signalling. I’d go ‘Mong….” then oops… “bean!” Mung bean has never been a bad word as far as I know.

4 Comments

Posted in Culture, Everything else

Posted by: lydiateh | 19 August 19, 2008

Ghosts that crawl, jump, fly and walk

This being the seventh lunar month when ‘hungry ghosts’ roam the earth, our TV stations organise a fright fest as is their custom. Last week I saw I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. (Jennifer Love Hewitt was so young and thin then!) Last night I watched a Korean horror movie, Ghost Train. (I never watch horror movies at the cinema as I don’t believe in paying to get scared out of my wits.) Towards the end of the movie, one of the ghosts - a victim of a train crash - appeared in all its gory bloody countenance. She emerged from a pool of blood and crawled across the heroine who was lying prone on the floor. That was when it hit me.

Korean ghosts are like Japanese ghosts. They like to crawl. I saw a Japanese ghost crawling down the stairs like a blanched scorpion - if I’m not mistaken it was in the film Ju-On. That got me thinking about those Chinese vampire shows - they’re always sticking out their hands and jumping around comically. Reminds me of Energizer bunny, but instead of running around like that rabbit, Chinese vamps are hopping around. I’d like to suggest that the competitors of Energizer shoot an advertisement using a bunch of Chinese vampires. Of course the vampire which out-jumps the rest will be the vampire sporting the advertised battery.

Malay ghosts are flyers. They’re better than trapeze artists. For instance, the pontianak can fly from tree to tree. Of course flying isn’t restricted to Malays. This form of ‘transportation’ is also favoured by other races like the Chinese, English and others.

What about American ghosts? They walk about like normal folks. Sixth Sense comes to mind.

Korean and Japanese crawlers, Chinese jumpers, Malay flyers, American walkers… these are just based on the few horror films I’ve watched. Horror fans may disagree. Or they may have an even longer list to share. Thais, Filipinos, Indians etc. Speaking of Indians, it just struck me that I’ve never seen an Indian horror movie before. I do remember Shah Rukh Khan playing a ghost in a movie and if memory serves me right, it didn’t do too well at the box office. The Indian audience loves the standard Bollywood fare and ghosts just don’t cut it at all for them, even when played by King Khan. (Googled the movie. Paheli was more a love story than anything else.)

14 Comments

Posted in Radio, TV, Theatre

Posted by: lydiateh | 06 August 6, 2008

Driving into Klang River

The traffic situation is crazy in Klang. Since last August when roadworks were started at Persiaran Sultan Ibrahim near the old Chi Liung Plaza (which is newly refurbished and tenanted by Income Tax and CIMB), it has been utter mayhem.

I live in South Klang and my kids go to school in the north. Usually I take the Connaught Bridge route which will take me about 20 - 25 minutes. Nowadays the traffic volume along this route has increased because motorists flock here to avoid the congestion at Jambatan Kota.

I try to stay away from the Banting Road whenever possible but when I have to send no. 1 to college at Klang Parade, this is the more convenient route to use. During peak hours in the morning, the jam starts from Southern Park and it takes 20-30 minutes to inch across the bridge. It’s so maddening you’d want to drive into the Klang River in a fit of frustration. On days when no. 1’s class starts at 9.00 a.m, we have to leave the house just after eight in order to get to college on time. However, this past week a strange phenomenon occurred. The traffic flow was smooth at eight something in the morning!! There was no jam at Jambatan Kota!! Cue Twilight Zone music. How could that be? I’m guessing that motorists are so fed up they’ve used alternative routes such as the Connaught Bridge and the Kesas Highway for those heading towards Shah Alam and beyond.

But I’m not optimistic that the smooth traffic flow will last. One thing certain about traffic along Jambatan Kota is its unpredictability. Just the other day, we took this route at eleven-something in the morning. We thought we’d be able to cruise along but we were in for a nasty surprise. It took us an hour to get from home to Klang Parade! It’s enough to make us want to drive off the bridge into the Klang River. Fortunately Klang residents are a patient bunch; otherwise Klang River would’ve turned into a mass watery grave of frustrated motorists.

Our patience is growing thin though. The roadworks are scheduled to be completed December 2009 but before we could enjoy breezing through the bridge, I fear another traffic problem will arise. A new block of office buildings - Prima Klang Avenue (PKA) situated across the road from MPK and Dewan Hamzah is set to open its doors end 2008. As it is traffic is already congested both ways across the bridge. PKA ’s location being a mere kilometre away from the bridge is going to exacerbate the nightmarish traffic. Motorists may as well drive off the bridge into the Klang River when this happens.

Klang River will truly become the dirtiest river in Malaysia then, not just because of the pollution but due to the number of dead motorists floating in it. Macabre imagination? Blame it on the traffic woes - it’s causing my brain to become haywire.

Postscript

To answer a query by Ilene as to what’s actually going on in Klang :

1. According to Star Metro on 4/8/08, the construction is to build a flyover to connect Jambatan Kota from the existing flyover above Persiaran Sultan Ibrahim.

2. As for the third bridge, I’d like to know what’s going on.  I remember reading newspaper reports that the third bridge has been approved and if I’m not mistaken, it’s supposed to be located somewhere near Jln Tepi Sungai.  Initially I assumed that the current roadworks at Persiaran Sultan Ibrahim is to build the third bridge but it ain’t so.  (How could the new bridge be located so close to the existing one, right?)  The third bridge was ‘approved’ under the BN government when Dr. Khir Toyo was Selangor MB.  Now that the Opposition is running Selangor, does that mean that the third bridge has been scrapped?  We need more than two bridges at the rate Klang is developing! Five is a nice number, but let’s not be too greedy.  A third one would be nice, thank you.

More traffic trouble is looming, and strangely it’s all centred near the Klang River.  A new mosque has been built near the Goldcourse Hotel.  It’s a beauty to behold but come Friday afternoons, I’ll run ten miles before I’d venture anywhere close to that area.

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Posted in Everything else

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